Don’t cry because its over
cry because you’re ugly
the night bloggers have arrived….but this time with a point.
we are all illegal aliens
Best $1.85 I have ever spent.
hi i’m peter man i mean i’m spider parker i mean fuck
"id date a fan" doesnt mean "id date a 12 year old who knows more about me than i do"
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-
You fucking champ